What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
