hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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