Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
