Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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