We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
