Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
