thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
