Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
