she peed on how many people?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
