this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize