It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
