And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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