If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
