just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
then he tried to convert me to islam
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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