butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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