Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
