I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
