shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
