i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
