You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
