guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I AM VODKA MAN
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I think i got beer on your cat.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
