My balls are so social today.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
