why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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