He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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