I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
