Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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