he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
