she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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