Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I supernannyed him into submission
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
