How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
