Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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