Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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