Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
