Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
