i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Cover your peen. We're going out.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
