i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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