I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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