I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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