If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize