thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
