If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
