there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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