I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
