I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize