come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
