I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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