Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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