My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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