he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
