I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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