All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
