I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize