Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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