My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Drake has all the answers
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
