wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
