Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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