When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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